


Poisioned Soul

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Drug Abuse, F/M, Overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 05:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16738264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: Circumstances sometimes change the people we love





	Poisioned Soul

Jensen stared at the TV, and he felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be her. Someone must have been staying at her place. This had to be a mistake, but the new anchor seemed sure in his convictions.

_“In the early hours this morning, country-rock singer Y/N Y/L/N was found dead in her Beverly Hills apartment. Cause of death is a presumed drug overdose. Last year, Y/L/N spend some time in a recreational home, trying to overcome her battles with addiction, but it seems as the young star lost her battle…._

Jensen’s chest started to tighten, and his ears began ringing, making the speaker’s voice a faint background noise. His breathing got heavier as he started struggling against his tears. This couldn’t be happening. Y/N couldn’t be gone.

“Oh my God,” his wife’s voice sounded a million miles away, and Jensen didn’t realize he had even been holding his breath before her hand rested on his back. As the air left his chest, Jensen fell to his knees, and Danneel followed him down, wrapping her arms around him as Jensen clung to her as if she was his only lifeline.

“I’m so sorry baby,” Danneel hushed him, running her fingers through his hair as he cried out his pain. All of this was his fault. He should have tried harder. He should have been there for her. He had brought Y/N to LA, pursuing both their dreams. His had been realized, while she had struggled at every turn. He had left her behind when things had gotten too though between them. He had chosen life with Danneel over her. It wasn’t a choice he could regret completely. Jensen loved his wife and their children more than anything, but Y/N had been his first real love. She had known him before his face had gotten plastered all over the CW. She had known him before he was an actor, before LA, before….

Jensen closed his eyes, burying his face in his wife’s neck as he let her rock him gently, and his mind drifted back to the day he and Y/N had first arrived in L.A.

_“Jensen look!” Y/N’s voice carried through the small hillside apartment Jensen somehow had managed to rent for the two of them for a steal. He smiled as he saw her standing on the small balcony that barely left room for two people. He stepped out behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist holding her tightly against him. Y/N tilted her head back, resting it against his shoulder, and Jensen pressed his lips against her cheek._

_“Look at this view, Jay,” she marveled, but Jensen never took his eyes off of her as he answered._

_“It’s breathtaking,” he replied, making her blush and him chuckle. He loved how he still had that effect on her. After 3 years together, she still seemed so flustered whenever he told her how stunning she was to him._

_“Promise me something, Jay?” Y/N spun around in his arms, making Jensen suck in a breath as her hip, brushed against him._

_“Anything baby,” Jensen pressed his lips against hers in a tender, loving kiss. He was so grateful she had decided to come out there with him. He wasn’t sure he would have had the guts to go through with it on his own. Acting was his dream, and Y/N had the voice of an angel. He was sure that they would both be happy out here. Even if they never reached their dreams, they would always have each other._

_“No matter what happens, we’ll always be there for each other? We’ll always celebrate the other’s success and help each other get through their failures.”_

_“You won’t fail baby,” Jensen promised her, pressing his lips against hers yet again, slowly backing them off the balcony and towards the bed. “But yeah. Come what may, we’ll always have each other,” he promised her as he gently lowered her down on the bed, pinning her beneath him, more than prepared to show her just how much he loved her._

Jensen wasn’t sure how Danneel managed to get him off the floor, but she did. She supported him until he was sitting on the couch next to her, and that was when his eyes finally met his wife’s. God he loved her so much. How many women would understand their husband falling to their knees in grief when they saw an old flame had passed on the TV? How many women would be so loving and caring, after the way Y/N behaved with her?

The first few years in LA had been hard on both of them. Jensen had managed to get work as an actor pretty quickly and had kept a steady flow of jobs ever since. Y/N, on the other hand, had not been so lucky. She waitressed at a small truck stop dinner, when she wasn’t making demos in their apartment and delivering them personally to agents and radio stations.

The rejections had gotten to her, and she had started changing her appearance drastically. She no longer wore jeans and t-shirts. She wore short skirts and low cut tops. She had blown all her savings on a boob job that Jensen had assured her she did not need, but he also didn’t want to stop her from doing what she wanted to her own body. She went no wear without a thick layer of make-up and her hair extensions in. Finally after all her changes, she had managed to get a break. She had gotten a record deal, which Jensen had not been keen on at all. They seemed to want her for how she looked and not her skill. Jensen new she could sell records without ever showing her face. Her voice was what really mattered, but when he had expressed that too her, she had gotten angry with him. She was angry with him a lot actually, and it didn’t help when he made friends with some of the One Tree Hill girls on the same network as he was working on.

Y/N accused him of cheating, of wanting to be with them more than her. There was only one amongst the women in Jensen’s friend pool that Y/N seemed to trust and like. Danneel Harris. Danneel was not only Jensen’s friend, but Y/N’s as well. The girls hung out together all the time, and Y/N seemed to be more herself whenever she was around Dani. Jensen wasn’t sure what it was, but maybe the two of them just understood each other. What it meant to be struggling and what it was like to be judged on your appearance and ability to appear seductive all of the time.

The friendship between the two women had come to a crashing halt when Jensen had started suspecting Y/N of doing drugs. He had turned to Danneel, asking her to help him talk to Y/N, a decision he regretted later when Y/N walked in on the two of them. Their arms had been wrapped around each other as Danneel had tried to comfort Jensen and assure him everything was going to be all right.

_“What the hell are you doing?” Y/N screamed at the two of them, flinging a vase of flowers through the room. Jensen just barely got both him and Danneel out of the way in time._

_“Y/N stop. What’s the matter with you?” Jensen tried to grab her by the arms and calm her down, but when he did he noticed her bloodshot eyes and the slight redness around her nose. “You’re high.” Jensen let go of her, taking a step back staring at her in disbelief. He no longer recognized the woman he had fallen in love with. She looked nothing like the texan tomboy he had been head over heels in love with when they first moved here. Even her personality had changed. The girl he new would never be screaming at him like some crazy woman for something she ought to know he would never do. She would never call another woman any of the things she was hissing at Danneel, whom was desperately trying to get Y/N to come to her senses._

_“We’re friends, Y/N/N,” Danneel pleaded with her. “I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you. When you come down you’ll…”_

_“Fucking cunt! Stop putting ideas in his head. I am not fucking high you slut. You just need to get your greasy paws off my man,” Y/N screamed, flinging herself at Danneel, only stopped by Jensen wrapping his arm around her waist and carrying her to the shower, throwing her inside and turning on the cold hose._

_“Stop fucking lying to me, Y/N,” Jensen roared at her. “I’d never cheat on you, but if you don’t pull yourself together soon, I’m gone. You hear me?”_     

“Jensen you need to stop this.” Danneel gently ran her hand over his chest, silently begging for him to hear her. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Jay. She made her choices. I wish we could have helped her too, but after we got married… There was no way we could have,” Danneel reminded him, and Jensen knew it was the truth. It didn’t stop him from wishing there had been something he could have done. He wished she would have let him in.

_“Jensen,” Y/N’s voice rang through set, and Jensen instantly twirled around. He hadn’t seen her since they had broken up a little over 3 years ago, so she had been the last person he had expected to see on his last day of filming._

_“Is that?” Jared stepped by his side, staring at the trainwreck of a woman, stumbling towards them. She had changed and not for the better. Her boops had gotten bigger and her dressed even trashier than Jensen remember. Still his heart ached for her. He didn’t just see the crazy, high woman stalking towards him. He saw the girl, smiling down at him from her parents barn. He saw a beautiful, natural girl that had been dancing with him on their first night in LA. He saw the girl he had once thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with._

_“Y/N. Yeah,” Jensen muttered, and Jared instantly announced he was getting Cliff, to which Jensen just nodded his agreement._

_“So you weren’t cheating on me huh?” Y/N flung the tabloid at Jensen’s face, and his heart sank. He should have know this was coming. “You’re marrying the damn slut you betrayed me with?!”_

_“Y/N, I never cheated on you,” Jensen replied as calmly as he could. “Dee and I happened later. I am sorry you had to find out like this. We tried…” Jensen tried to explain, but there wasn’t much left of the girl he knew in the woman in front of him. Rather than answering, she spat in his face, pulling her arm out of Cliff’s grip as he reached them._

_“I can leave on my own. He’s not worth it anyway.” The disgust was written all over her face as she twirled around on her heels, calling over her shoulder, “Tell her not to call me for support when you find someone else to bang instead of her.”_

_Jensen shook his head, holding back his tears as he watched her walk out of his life for what he had though was the last time. A part of him still loved her, but he knew she was lost to him forever and that she had been for a long time. Danneel made him happy. He loved her, and his love was returned. It was time he moved forward with his life and left his past behind._

“She seemed like she was doing better,” Jensen mumbled, and Danneel leaned back a little trying to see his face, but Jensen didn’t look at her.

“What? You talked to her? When?” there was no accusations in her voice, maybe a little pain that he hadn’t shared this piece of information with her before, but she wasn’t mad. She wanted to listen and be there for him, just like she always had been, and Jensen knew she always would be. As much as Jensen had loved Y/N, Danneel had been the right choice, and he loved his wife beyond words.

Jensen finally looked up at her, tears clouding his vision, “I’m sorry. I meet her at Saturn last month. She was with a boyfriend, and she seemed good. Healthy. We didn’t talk much, but she asked about you and JJ. I told her about…” Jensen words trailed off as he rested his hand on his wife’s swollen belly. “Dani, I thought she had moved on. What if what I said…” Jensen entire body began shaking again, and Danneel pulled him into a tight embrace.

“It’s okay Jay. It’ll be okay,” she tried soothing him as her own tears spilled down her cheeks. Y/N had been her friend too once, and even if she was not feeling the lose as deeply as her husband, she was most certainly feeling his pain.

“We’ll get through this Jensen. I love you,” Danneel whispered pressing her lips against her shaking husband’s neck, feeling him squeeze her a little tighter.

“I love you too, DeeDee,” his voice sounded muffled against her shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Danneel smiled through her tears at his words, silently vowing he would never have to find out.   


End file.
